At the Surrogacy Center of Philadelphia, we have the honor of working with remarkable women who choose to embark on the surrogacy journey, helping families realize their dreams of parenthood. Recently, we sat down with Anne, one of our surrogates in the beginning stages of her journey, to discuss her motivations, experiences, and reflections as she steps into this incredible role.
A Lifelong Dream Realized
For Anne, surrogacy was a dream that began in high school. Over the years, she frequently discussed this dream with her husband. Now that they feel content with the size of their own family, Anne knew it was the right time to pursue surrogacy. Her husband, familiar with her long-held desire, was supportive and ready to embark on the journey with her.
“Now that we feel pretty good and content with the size of the family we have, I decided to pursue it and ask him if he was comfortable with it and he said, ‘sure, let’s give it a go.’”
Preparing for the Journey
Preparation was key for Anne as she delved into the world of surrogacy. She researched the IVF process extensively, aiming to understand not only her role but also the experience from the intended parents’ perspective. Watching YouTube videos of other surrogates and exploring different agencies helped her gain a well-rounded view of what to expect.
“I looked into the IVF process; I really wanted to know what that looks like in general, but also the intended parent side and what that looks like for surrogates.”
Sharing the Dream with Loved Ones
A particularly touching aspect of Anne’s story is how she shared her desire to pursue surrogacy with her partner. Their nearly ten-year relationship meant he had long been aware of her dream. When they decided their family was complete, she brought up surrogacy again. Initially hesitant, her husband was open to learning more, and together, they took the plunge into this new chapter.
“I mentioned it, and I said, you know, I had really smooth pregnancies. I don’t feel done having babies yet, but I don’t want any more of my own, and he agreed, so he was okay with us looking into it.”
Navigating Conversations with Family and Friends
As Anne moved forward, she had to navigate conversations with friends, family, and others about her decision. Many of her loved ones had known about her desire for years, so when she finally decided to pursue it, they were excited for her. However, some were unsure about the process and had questions—questions that allowed her to educate them about surrogacy and what it truly involves.
“When I brought it up to friends and family, they’ve known about this desire for a long time, years and years. So when I told them I was finally deciding to pursue it, the majority were very excited.”
Explaining the Journey to Her Children
Explaining the surrogacy process to her young children was another important step. With two boys, aged three and almost two, Anne knew they were a bit young to fully grasp the concept. However, she approached it with excitement, telling her eldest that Mommy was going to have another baby, but this time, it would be for someone else.
“I just started talking about the process and I’m like, ‘Okay, you know Mommy’s going to have another baby, and it’s going to be someone else’s baby. They’re going to put a baby inside my tummy, and my tummy’s going to get bigger and bigger and bigger, and then I’m going to have the baby, and we’re going to give it to their parents.’”
Addressing Common Questions
One of the most frequent questions Anne encounters is how she will feel about “giving up” the baby after delivery. She’s quick to clarify that she’s not giving up anything—she’s simply handing the baby over to their parents, as planned from the beginning.
“It’s never been my baby, and I know that. I’m so grateful to be a part of the journey for them, so I know from the beginning that it’s not my baby to give up.”
Finding the Perfect Match
The matching process was another crucial aspect of Anne’s journey. She and her husband were committed to finding intended parents who shared their values, particularly around topics like termination. They wanted to be aligned on all fronts before moving forward and were willing to wait for the perfect match.
“It was really important for us that we found a male-female married couple and also had the same values when it came to termination.”
The Most Rewarding Moments
The most rewarding part of Anne’s journey so far has been meeting the intended parents. When her case manager introduced them, she was filled with hope and excitement. Their first conversation, though brief, was profound.
“I was just overwhelmed with so much hope. I told her that I was like, I just feel so much hope moving forward, I’m so excited to be doing this with you.”
Surprises Along the Way
One surprising aspect of Anne’s journey has been how quickly everything has unfolded. They started exploring surrogacy in April and matched with intended parents by June. She was prepared for a longer wait but was delighted to find that the process moved swiftly, bringing her one step closer to helping a family grow.
“We started looking into surrogacy in April, and we matched in June. I was really surprised that we were able to match so soon.”
Advice for Aspiring Surrogates
Anne’s advice to anyone considering surrogacy is simple: go for it. Apply, ask your questions, and see where it leads. At the Surrogacy Center of Philadelphia, you’ll find a supportive environment where you can explore your options without pressure.
“I say just go for it and apply and then ask all your questions. It’s really helpful to have an actual person who’s able to answer all these questions and take time with you to make you feel more comfortable.”
This interview with Anne highlights the deep thought, care, and commitment that go into the decision to become a surrogate. We hope her story inspires others to consider this incredible journey of helping to create families. Stay tuned for more stories from our surrogates as they continue on this remarkable path.
Would you like to learn more about surrogacy or join our growing community? See if you qualify here —we’re here to support you every step of the way.
