Being a Surrogate For a Friend
As you contemplate giving of yourself by serving as a surrogate mother, you are to be commended for the depth of your heart. There is very little on planet earth that is more special than giving a person or couple a chance to be parents when otherwise they might not have that chance.
The surrogacy process is complicated. It requires the matching of a qualified surrogate mother with a qualified intended parent or parents. Is it possible that a friend has asked you to serve as their surrogate? If so, there must be questions both you and the intended parent or parents have about you being a surrogate for a friend. In the following sections, we will try to answer some key questions.
The Intricacies of Being a Surrogate for a Friend
Clearly, there would be benefits to you serving as a surrogate mother for a friend. Of course, the most prominent benefit would come from the familiarity that you and the intended parent or parents would have because of the friendship. Given the level of comfort that would be created, it should absolutely make the surrogate process easier to manage for both parties.
However, it’s still important that you and your friend or friends sit down and have a heart-to-heart conversation about expectations. It would be such a great gift that you would offer them, and it would be a shame if issues were to arise between the two of you. Remember, this is a serious and emotional endeavor. Everyone would benefit by knowing exactly what is expected of each party throughout the surrogacy process.
Assuming you would be good to go through a surrogate pregnancy for a friend, you would simply need to go through a standard surrogacy process. It’s the exact same process that a surrogate would have to go through if they were serving intended parents they don’t know.
As a Philadelphia surrogate agency dealing with surrogacy in Philadelphia, we would like to tell you more about the process. Much of the information provided here details the process as we handle it.
Let’s start with the surrogacy definition. Per the medical portion of the Free Dictionary website, surrogacy is defined as follows: “An agreement by a woman to undergo pregnancy so as to produce a child (in vitro) which will be surrendered to others.”
There are two primary types of surrogacy: traditional and gestational. Traditional surrogacy involves the use of the surrogate’s egg cells in combination with the sperm coming from the intended father or a donor. With traditional surrogacy, the intended mother will not have a genetic connection to the surrogate baby.
Gestational surrogacy involves the use of the intended mother’s egg cells in combination with the intended father’s sperm or the sperm of the donor. Oftentimes, this is the preferred option because the intended mother does have that genetic connection to the surrogate baby.
Requirements to Become a Surrogate
Before you could become a surrogate, you would have to meet certain criteria. The criteria we use fall as both physical and mental health requirements. Yes, these requirements still apply even if you are targeting being a surrogate for a friend. Our requirements are:
- Age: between the ages of 21 and 40
- Body Mass Index (BMI): between 20 and 32
- Prior Deliveries: must have successfully delivered one baby with no incidences of pregnancy or delivery issues with any baby
- No history of drug or alcohol abuse
- Restricted use of certain psych meds before and during process
- Home environment: stable, currently raising a small child preferred
- Financial status: stable and self-sufficient
- No felonious criminal record
If you were to pass all of these requirements, you would be considered to be a viable candidate for surrogacy. At this point, you could enter into a surrogate contract with your friend or friends. Based on certain laws, a handshake agreement with your friend or friends would not suffice. It’s important for all concerned parties to keep the process legal to avoid any disputes in the future. It’s also a good way to protect the friendship from misunderstandings.
Establishing the Surrogate Pregnancy
After meeting the qualifications and letting the contract, the time has come to establish the surrogate pregnancy. You or the intended mother would be given fertility drugs to prompt the release of multiple egg cells. At some point, the egg cells would be harvested with the healthy egg cells being fertilized in vitro.
A week or two later, a healthy fertilized egg would be placed in your womb. Hopefully, the pregnancy would take the first time. If not, several other attempts would be made until pregnancy is confirmed or the process aborted to investigate possible health issues.
Completing the Process
Once the pregnancy is confirmed, you would effectively become a surrogate mother. Your job is to follow the doctor’s directions and take care of yourself and the baby. Since you would already have a relationship with the intended parent or parents, it would be easy and convenient for both parties to communicate throughout the pregnancy. Intended parents really like this part because they feel like they are part of the process.
For you, there would be an excellent chance for you to stay connected to the child as they grow. It helps with the emotional strain that often comes when a surrogate has to turn over the surrogate baby to the intended parents.
At delivery, your good deed will have been consummated. You’ll understand the magnitude of your gift as soon as you see the utter joy in the eyes of your friends, the very people you have served so selflessly.
The standard compensation package would still be used should you go through the process of being a surrogate for a friend. That would include a base fee of $35K at our clinic, plus extra fees and reimbursables that could amount to as much as another $25K to $30K. Along with your fees, the intended parents would also have to pay a $21k fee to our Philadelphia surrogate agency.
Note: Since this scenario involves friendship, some fees and reimbursables could be negotiable.
We hope this information answers most of your concerns. We would like to offer you our respect for your willingness to even consider going through this process. It’s a gift of undeniable magnitude. If you would like any further information about surrogacy, we encourage you to contact one of our staff members at your earliest convenience.