As a Surrogate Ambassador, I share my Surrogacy story with many people who are surprised to hear that I had a lot of say in my journey. Yes, we are carrying someone else’s baby, but we still have a choice in what we do with our bodies.
When I first started looking into surrogacy, one of my questions was, “Do I get to choose who to carry for?” A friend told me it couldn’t hurt to ask, so I did! When I inquired with my agency, I asked if I could carry for Intended Parents within the LGBTQ+ community, and without hesitation, they said yes. I’m not sure why that answer was so unexpected, but it gave me the confidence to continue to pursue surrogacy for reasons I held close to my heart. I asked that my agency would give an LGBTQ+ person or couple “first dibs” on my body because I recognize the discrimination that the community may face while exploring adoption or surrogacy. Instead of allowing them to suffer another heartbreak hoping to be accepted, I made it known they were a priority, and the agency honored that request.
When it came time for the matching process, I was told there was a same-sex male couple in mind for me based off my preferences, so I read through their profile and agreed to a Skype call. It almost sounds too good to be true, but we had an instant connection and immediately following that call, both parties agreed to be matched with each other. I felt incredibly empowered to be able to be in control of my journey this early on, which resulted in a solid relationship with my intended parents and my agency.
Looking back, I had almost as much say in my surrogacy story as I did with my own children, and in some areas, I had even more control. Surrogacy is a service you are providing to someone, but that doesn’t mean you have to agree to anything you don’t feel comfortable with. The best way to ensure a positive outcome for you and your intended parents is to vocalize your beliefs, preferences, questions, and concerns with your agency upon applying to become a surrogate.
